Jane Fonda, MSNBC, and Sluts

My friend’s American History teacher hates Jane Fonda and repeatedly called her a dumb whore slutbag. He hates her because of the Hanoi Jane controversy. He received an email circulating around about Obama honoring Jane Fonda–which is a lie by the way, and went on an expletive filled tirade about how much of a terrible person she is.

First of all, I had to research it myself and the story is half true. She did say the North Vietnamese’s use of torture wasn’t systemic, and she did call American soldiers war criminals. She visited some prisoners of war and sent messages back to their families. But supposedly she committed treason because she took the messages and handed them to the North Vietnamese or another variation is that she was handed their social security numbers. Totally false.

Anyways, I’m going to relay this information back to my friends. Now they passionately hate Jane Fonda and never miss a chance to call her a dumb whore slutbag. But that doesn’t make much sense. If Jane Fonda is a supposed traitor how does that make her slut?

This is feminism 101: words like slut, whore, and cunt are used to degrade women. If a slut is someone (mostly women) who is sexual promiscuous (no can agree how many sexual partners are too many), then how is being a traitor related to being a slut?

Ed Schultz was suspended from his cable show for a week because he called Laura Ingram a right wing slut. That ad homien attack had nothing to do with her disgusting politics. He just threw that word in there to degrade her, but in the process of doing that degraded women everywhere. Once again, the power of the word slut is reiterated. It’s considered acceptable to use because it puts a women back in her place. Most girls at one time in their life have been called a slut.

It should be a basic concept to understand. Left wing liberals were up in arms because Tea Partiers frequently used racist imagery and language to attack Obama. Most liberals I know expressed they wouldn’t hate Tea Partiers as much if they just criticized Obama for his policies and not his skin color and his supposed foreignness. I heard the phrase “fear mongering republicans” dozens of times while watching MNSBC during the 2008 presidential election. If MNSBC correspondents understand the power of words and how syntax can illicit hateful responses, why can’t they see the same concept applies to right wing women.

Anyways, we still live in a world where women are blamed for their own rapes because they dressed like sluts. A pop star deserves to abuse his girlfriend because she has a supposedly skanky attitude.

These detrimental words aren’t even used like how they are supposed to. Women are called sluts for not sleeping with guys; Women are called bitches even when they are being completely nice. These words just contribute to a violent environment that women are forced to live daily. Worst of all, women use these words negatively against each other. This type of colluding behavior doesn’t make you seem cool or like one of the guys, it makes it harder for other women.

My personal opinion: if you want, use slut or bitch positively and don’t give it anymore more negative power—but only use it for you. You don’t know how other people feel about those words and it may be severely triggering for other women.

Not everyone is completely scarred because they were called a slut or a bitch; but there’s no denying that the lives of women have been altered because of slurs like bitch or cunt. After being called a bitch several times by the officers of my club (I’m the president), I was really hurt and tried even harder not to seem like a bitch. But bitches get shit done.

post racial

I know they are a ton of white people who don’t understand—or really want to understand to begin with, what white privilege is.

But, several things happened today that really reminded how white people try so hard to push the color blind ideology that basic overt racist things don’t even register as racist anymore. There’s “real racism” and then there’s just being politically correct .

For example, cultural appropriation? Not a real racist issue, you gotta feel fucking entitled to everything with little regard to the historical context of whatever item you’re stealing.

TV shows with mostly white characters and their stereotypical ethnic friends—not a real racist issue. Don’t even complain about the same racist stock characters people of color have to play every single time.

Things I thought would register immediately as racist, even to the most conservative of white people, aren’t even racist.

I thought by now that people would know that black face is racist; it is offensive to pull back your eyes and pretend you’re Asian; fried chicken and watermelon jokes—c’mon racist, why is that even a question? Yet, white vegans still scratch their head at the notion that’s offensive to compare kennel clubs to the KKK.

What the fuck is going on?

I was telling my brother earlier, people distinguish between “real racism” like stuff you only saw in the sixties and politically correct/not real racism. It’s because society, especially white people, treat racism like it’s been eradicated.

Systematic racism isn’t real because racism ended sometime around 1968. The subtle everyday racism, the kind white people don’t notice, isn’t real. Or maybe it’s just exaggerated by over sensitive people of color.

The idea that white people will never experience and understand the lives people of color face because they are white, flips them the fuck out.

When you’re so used to being the dominant culture it doesn’t don on you that you’re privileged because your version of reality is constantly being reinforced.

White people enjoy that privilege. Even if they complain about “reverse racism” they still ignore the fact that they are the majority of the government, the media, our history books, and the normalative in general. If you question that, it’s the fault of people of color, not “systemic racism” and they have no part in keeping the status quo.

You can spend the rest of your life ignoring the fact that names that sound “ethnic” are less likely to be hired and then complain about affirmative action.

The idea of black history or Hispanic history month, seems unfair but don’t question how your history textbooks are pro imperialism and pro colonialism; the exploitation of people of color was just collateral for democracy.

Just ignore it and let it go away. The idea of that maybe you’ve been conditioned to not question the entitlements you enjoy is the worst offense.

listen

We don’t live in a vacuum. Our ideas, our lexicon, and our beliefs are shaped by outside forces like society, culture, environment, and religion. Fields like sociology and anthropology prove that.

Words matter, ok? You said something heterosexist because your parents, the media, and your religion told you; you weren’t born a bigot. Forces like that reflect and shape your ideas. When people like lady gaga say trans phobic things they fuel trans phobia and other people think it is ok because their ideas aren’t challenged. Their bigotry is reinforced every day by outside forces like that. We are conditioned to say things that hurt other people but we don’t change it because it seems like it doesn’t affect your reality.

That’s where privilege comes from. If the dominant culture constantly puts out ideas that reinforce your idea of reality you accept it as such without question because you consider that the norm. You will vehemently defend your privilege and the entitlements you enjoy because you can’t honestly believe another person’s reality is different from your own. You think you’re a good person; anything that happens to other people is the fault of their own.

Just because you aren’t aware of what is happening, doesn’t mean it still isn’t occurring.

I’m setting all this up because i want to get this point: “it’s just a preference” ignores how factors like racism ,sexism ,transphobia shape your ideal of what is beautiful or considered attractive.

Whenever i tell people this they get super upset and deny that this is true. people just think “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” but if most of the media features middle to upper class, white, thin able bodied cisgender straight people wouldn’t that shape your idea of beauty? Pop culture is extremely important to us. Of course it will shape how we think.

But there is a lack of diversity in the media and if marginalized groups are in television or movies, it is mostly to be a stock character.

And I don’t want to make it seem like people with privilege aren’t aware of their privileges or entitlements. They know and they will fight for it at all costs. One tacit is acting ignorant or crying political correctness.

For a cheap joke a late night comedian will attacks trans women’s femininity; a TV show will feature male characters joking around about their shrew-like wives and make sexist degrading comments about women’s bodies; a movie will feature a wise talking sassy black woman with little education etc. etc. repeat this 3 million times across every medium. Yet, people have the audacity to act like pop culture or religion doesn’t affect what we consider to be true.

Anyways, “it’s just a preference” really isn’t just a preference. Saying you don’t like black men or fat people or whatever was obviously shaped by some force.

what is rape culture?

Before I explain rape culture I have to tell you this story:

There is a married woman and her husband works long nights and doesn’t return until the early morning. When her husband is away the wife goes to this island, all dressed up, where she has affairs with random men. When these men get to close to her, like if they want to take their affair to the next level, she purposely gets in fights with them. Then she takes the ferry back home before her husband arrives. She’s also really drunk.

So one night she does her usual routine. She goes to the island, has sex with a guy and then acts like a jerk so they can break up. As she is on the way to the ferry she realizes she doesn’t have enough money to get back home. She needs to get home soon before her husband comes back. She asks the ferry captain to let her go on for free. She promises the next time she comes she’ll pay double the fare. But the ferry captain tells her no.

So the wife goes back to the guy she just broke up with. She’s really desperate. But of course they just got in a fight and he refuses to give her any money. She goes to a guy she was with last week, but he is still pretty pissed off and he won’t give her any money either.

She really has no other option. There is a bridge that will take her home. It’s really dark at night and she doesn’t want to walk home alone. But she takes the chance…but she is raped and killed by a group of thugs.

Who’s to blame for the wife being raped?

• the husband
• the wife
• the ferry captain
• ex number one
• ex number two
• the thugs

When my psychology teacher said this story the first time every single hand went up for the wife–including me. And everyone’s reason was the same: if she wasn’t slotting it up in the first place she wouldn’t have been raped.

So then my teacher changes the story a bit. What if she didn’t have a husband and she wasn’t having affairs with other men; she has a baby at home and the baby sitter has an emergency and had to leave. Would we still blame her?

Most of our answers changed, but they were still a few that blamed the wife. We did exercise in the social psychology chapter.

Basically the just world hypothesis is: Attribution error based on the assumption that bad things happen to bad people and good things happen to good people.

Of course the wife was raped! She was a bad person, she’s a lying slut, and she deserved it! If she were more careful this wouldn’t have happened, like not been drunk.

This makes no sense because, for a lack of a better term, a variety of people are raped. Rape victims range in age, sex/gender, race and class. And obviously not everyone who has even been raped has been drunk, or wearing shorts skirts, heels, or anything else that translates into “asking for it.”

What happens if you applied that logic to other crimes?

Your car got stolen? What were you thinking driving that in a neighborhood that is so shitty?

Your house was broke into? Well that’s what you get for not having a burglar alarm.

You were robbed? Well you were just asking for it, you dressed really flashy.

etc. etc. etc.

We blame the victim, so we can distance ourselves from the possibility of bad things ever happening to us. It can never happen to us because we’re smart, we follow the rules, we know better.

If you repeat this a million times it seems like simple logic. Our ideal society claims rape is bad, but in our real culture only 6% of rapists ever see a day in jail.

Rape myths permeate our society and it spreads more thanks to forces like misogyny, racism, ableism, classism etc etc.

Like I mentioned before, dressing like a “slut” isn’t a social norm, it isn’t socially acceptable. But slut shaming mostly applies to women. It is socially acceptable for a man to have more sexual partners and engage in casual sex. When women break this social scripts, they are called sluts, whores and promiscuous. Furthermore, women are expected to be pristine and virginal.

Next, you have to examine the stereotypes pushed as truth by the dominate culture. Men just can’t control themselves. If a man sees an attractive woman he’s going to look like this. The stereotype is that men always want sex. So if a man sees a woman dressed like a slut, who shouldn’t be dressed like one any way because it’s a breaking culture mores, of course he is going to sexual assault her.

When women are harassed on the streets, for some fucked up reason, it is supposed to be considered a compliment. Men feel entitled to approach you on the street, a bar,  or book store to invade your personal space. He just wants to talk to you. What is wrong with a random person you don’t even know you expressed no interest in comes up to you and asks you out?

Rape has nothing to do with sex. It’s about power and it’s about violence.

I’m going to abruptly end this here. Explaining rape culture in depth would take forever.

Common rape myths:

Myth: Rape is sex.

Fact: Rape is experienced by the victims as an act of violence. It is a life-threatening experience. One out of every eight adult women has been a victim of forcible rape. (National Victim Center and Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, 1992) While sexual attraction may be influential, power, control and anger are the primary motives. Most rapists have access to a sexual partner. Gratification comes from gaining power and control and discharging anger. This gratification is only temporary, so the rapist seeks another victim.

Myth: Women incite men to rape.

Fact: Research has found that the vast majority of rapes are planned. Rape is the responsibility of the rapist alone. Women, children and men of every age, physical type and demeanor are raped. Opportunity is the most important factor determining when a given rapist will rape.

Myth: There is a “right way” to respond to a rape situation.

Fact:Since rape is life-threatening and each rapist has his own pattern, the best thing a victim can do is follow her instincts and observe any cues from the rapist. If the victim escapes alive she has done the right thing.

Myth:A victim should be discouraged from dwelling on the rape. She should “forget it”.

Fact: This advice generally comes from people who are more concerned with their own feelings than the victim’s. All victims should be offered the opportunity to talk about the assault with those personally close to them and knowledgeable professionals. Victims who are not allowed to talk about the rape have a much more difficult time recovering form it.

Mores facts about rape:

Approximately 2/3 of rapes were committed by someone known to the victim.¹
73% of sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger.¹
38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance.¹
28% are an intimate.¹
7% are a relative.¹

A Post About My Randoms Thoughts of Sex

• Sex in our culture is so male hetro cis centric.
• For example, men fuck women. Sex is something men to do women, and women just lie there taking it. Sex is mostly viewed from a male point of view. Think of the slang terms used to refer to sex : hit it, tap it, pound it, smash etc etc things men do to women.
• Queer women seem to emulate “straight sex”.
• There’s gay porn, straight porn, and tranny porn. I find these all problematic. First, tranny is an extremely harmful slur. Most “tranny” porn features trans woman. I am not really sure why trans men are invisible in porn. There’s also straight porn which also features lesbians. Straight men feel entitled to lesbians because two women kissing are hot, and women are suppose to please men. What’s also weird is that the idea of two women kissing turns on men, but most don’t think two men kissing turn on women. However, they are trans* people who are straight and women who think hot grinding gay men are a turn-on, but they aren’t in the “straight” category.

Thoughts on Interracial Dating

I am for interracial dating, I don’t think anyone should be restricted to who they date because of race. However, I’ve noticed a couple of trends that I find problematic. I’m aware that this post is very narrow focuses only on black people and is hetero-centric.

Black men blaming black women for well…everything. It seems incredible ridiculous black men find the need to blame black women for the all the problems wrong with the “black community”.  They are constantly told by men like Tyler Perry, Steve Harvey and every black minister they have to lower their standards and should just settle down and marry. The importance of marriage constantly stressed . Apparently low marriage rates are the result of black women trifling.

When asked why marriage rates are so low black men respond it’s because black women conform to negative stereotypes and it makes them unappealing. Well I say fuck that shit. In a culture ruled by white supremacist patriarchy black women are viewed as either being booty shaking rap vixens, finger snapping ethnic comedy reliefs or token strong black women.

Ideals of beauty are obviously shaped by the dominant culture. Women of color barely appear in ads or magazines.When woc are featured in magazines they mostly have European features or lightened up. They are very thin and have long straight hair. Bleaching creams are sold in the small three self section of ethnic hair care, and natural hair is still viewed as untamed and dirty. The standard of whiteness is always being pushed in people’s faces to the point where people aren’t even aware of it. Well what does this have to do with interracial dating?

Black men are not immune to the whitewashing of black women in the media. We are all conditioned to believe that one type of woman looks more attractive than the other. We are all conditioned to believe that stereotypes actually are actually true and are not constructed and over-exaggerated. Of course this will have an impact on who we choose to date. Hence “black women conform to negative stereotypes and it makes them unappealing.” If you are told a lie enough times you start to believe it.

Black men are also portrayed negatively. They play robbers, gang members and token black friends. Their reduced to their penis size and are uncontrollable animals. They can’t control their strength or their libido. Black men are expected to conform to an extra standard of hyper masculinity. In general is it unacceptable for men to cry; with white indie rockers like Conor Oberst and Brand New though, it is becoming more acceptable for white men to belt out their emotions to the sound of a guitar ( as long as it involves bashing women). When you have rappers grabbing their dick all the time and saying “no homo” constantly black men are being policed on what emotions are acceptable to express. I’ve heard black girls tell me they don’t like black men because of these reasons. They are looking more for a Pete Wentz type, not 50 Cent.

Now, everyone has preferences. But to find the other half of your race unattractive is not a preference, it’s internal racism.

Who taught you to hate yourself:  Who taught you to hate the color of your skin? Who taught you to hate the texture of your hair? Who taught you to hate the shape of your nose and the shape of your lips? Who taught you to hate yourself from the top of your head to the soles of your feet? Who taught you to hate your own kind? Who taught you to hate the race that you belong to so much so that you don’t want to be around each other? You know. Before you come asking Mr. Muhammad does he teach hate, you should ask yourself who taught you to hate being what God made you.- Malcolm X

I don’t think everyone black man who is attracted to women should only date black women. My only problem is when conservations like this happen:

Me: You guys are so cute together.

Black Guy: Yeah she is pretty awesome. She isn’t black, which is why I like her. I find black women are only gold diggers, high maintenance and ghetto.

Me: You could have just said you liked her personality.

Now, that is obviously ridiculous. Have you meet every single black woman to make that statement? Your “preferences” are obviously shaped by bigotry.

For whatever reason, it is more acceptable for black men to bash black women and praise whiteness as opposed to black women. The social stigma of black women and white men dating brings up images of slave masters raping and abusing slaves. To praise whiteness in men is to praise the white supremacy that has marginalized black people. I guess because white women have less power than white men and the social stigma associated with them isn’t as strong, it is more acceptable.

Also, I am just worried about the white conservative philosophy spewing from black women’s mouths about how black men are just lazy.

The whole pull yourself by your own bootstraps philosophy is absolute shit. It’s ignoring how white supremacy throws 1 in 9 black men in jail. It’s ignoring the racial profiling that targets communities of color and the horrid drug war that enslaves black men in the prison system. It ignores the inadequate school system that pumps out high school drop-outs. It ignores capitalist system that puts all of us at a disadvantage, not just black men.

Basically, I find most discussions about interracial dating superficial. Instead of pointing the fingers at each other and obsessing over marriage can’t we just focus on more important subjects? Low marriages rates are just a symptom of white supremacy. Black women should not be pressured into marrying anyone just to appease the “black community”. I doubt if we pair every black man up with every black woman incarceration rates would decline.

Time of the Month Tiger

The -Isms in Feminism

I see feminists who don’t think trans women are real women and use the wrong pronouns all the time. I see someone totally disregarding the feelings of pwd by constantly using  slurs like crazy . When they get called out on it , all the other feminists hold their hand and try to convince they are good people. They still ignore the feelings of pwd. The same old argument over hijabs happen without any input from Muslim women.

Feminism isn’t about empowering already privileged women. But that is what it seems like. Actions speak louder than words, being a feminist doesn’t mean you get a pass when saying something oppressive. Part of being a feminist actually means owning up to your mistakes, apologizing and never doing it again. It also means actually trying to learn about other oppressions.

Basically what I’m saying is, feminism isn’t Reganomics. Trying to focus on white cisgender middle to upper class heterosexual women won’t trickle down to marginalized groups. Looking at it from the outside I can understand why someone wouldn’t call themselves a feminist.  Because why would  anyone want to be included in a group where they actively try to deny your existence?

You can have feminist values without actually calling yourself a feminist.

Straight White Male Entitlement list

Entitlement : belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges

• When men are invading your space( at the supermarket, jogging, the bank, lunch line).
• “Nice guys” who treat you nice feel entitled sex.
• Also, when you dress “slutty( it doesn’t matter you can be wearing a garbage bag)” men feel entitled to comment on how provocative you look.
• White people trying to touch POC’s hair.
• White people trying to cultural appropriate other people’s cultures.
• The N word. ” Why can we say it?!?”
• Men think it’s ok to say bitch, slut, skank etc etc
• The whole Ground Zero mosque fiasco.
• White Americans are upset because they feel their privileges are being taken away. It’s an invasion of brown people. They feel entitled, it’s their god given right, to live on stolen land happily.
• Historically speaking, white people felt it was their god given right to expand their territory in America. This of course , disregarded the Native American tribes that already occupied these places.
• Mansplaining/whitesplaining.
• White people feel entitled to a higher standard of living because they worked harder for it, while POC are too lazy to get out of poverty. Obviously they enjoy it so much.
• More along the lines of imperialism/capitalism: Americans feels entitled to a higher standard of living too, no matter who it pains. Look at the produce you buy, it’s made by brown people making less than minimum wage. Prison system is a also a system of modern day slavery. In addition, Americans feel entitled to cheaper clothes, chocolate, and oil even though people across the world die because of factories, the political unrest, and the destruction of their environments. Look at the Scramble for Africa.
• Then Americans have the audacity to tell POC how to get of poverty. They feel entitled to voice their racist opinions.

• Straight people feel entitled to tell gays how to deal with homophobia.
• Straight men feel entitled to lesbians ( lesbians are just sexual devices for straight men)

• Straight women feel entitled to have gay males as accessories best friends.
• Straight people think they are the only ones entitled to heaven.
• Straight people feel entitled to judge other people’s sexuality. Thinking bisexual women aren’t really bisexual for example and that bisexual men are just really gay.
• Entitled to only see hetero relationships in public. For example, seeing two gay men hold hands at a park means  their rubbing their sexuality in your face.

[Activist Modus Operandi] The Anatomy of a Call Out (And Why It Needs To Change) (via Genderbitch: Musings of a Trans Chick)

You can reblog things on wordpress? Wow, I’m on tumblr without actually being on.

Clarifications: In no way am I saying that the onus is on us to educate. In fact, you can scream in frustration, rage at people or seek out and carve out safe spaces for yourself all you want. I certainly have. But activism itself is a movement trying to make the world better for us. Creating change. So, if you want take the torch, that onus, onto yourself because you and I all know that even though the privileged people SHOULD be fixing it, they … Read More

via Genderbitch: Musings of a Trans Chick